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 BEAR: Did you hear? Charlie lost his wife. HOOKER: That's a damn shame. How's he doing?  BEAR: About how you'd expect.  HOOKER: I expect he's already forgotten about her and is   thinking about writing a novel about it. BEAR::That's a hell of a thing to say. He must be grieving fierce. HOOKER: He's still a writer. Don't you remember what he said when Mary 's daughter commited suicide? "It's all material." BEAR: How do you mean?  HOOKER: He told her to stop crying and write a poem about it. BEAR: Well, she's a poet. She probably will! HOOKER: But in her own sweet time.  (A pause.) BEAR: I can't decide whether or not to send him a card. HOOKER: Waste of money. BEAR: Listen to Mr. Empathy. What put you in such a foul mood? HOOKER: I made the mistake of watching the news this morning. What's happening to this country is appalling. BEAR: Tell me about it. HOOKER: Anyway, I am sorry for his loss. Tell him when you see him. BEAR: Tell...

Previous: https://thoobasa.blogspot.com/2025/03/when-friend-is-grieving.html HOOKER: I'm sorry for your loss. STEVE: Thank you. BEAR: Steve is trying to figure out what to do with the writing Charlie left behind.  STEVE: There's a ton of it. Journals, novels, poems, a couple plays. Hard copy, stuff on his computer. I had no idea he was so prolific. HOOKER: I thought he was published. STEVE: He published a lot actually. This is in addition to that. But most of what he did publish was by small print on demand publishers. That's just short of self publishing. BEAR: Which gets no respect at all. STEVE: Which dad never understood and I don't either. A rock band cuts their own record in a garage, and it's treated with respect, it's even cool. But publish your own volume of poetry, you just admitted failure. You self publush because real publishers reject you. HOOKER: Have you tried libraries? Maybe his alma mater? STEVE: No interest whatever. He's not famous. He d...

 BEAR: This is my granddaughter, Heather. HOOKER: Nice to meet you. HEATHER: I've heard so much about you. HOOKER:You didn't have to tell me that. HEATHER: All good! BEAR: She performed her Woody Guthrie show at the universitry last night. You missed one hell of a performance.  HOOKER: I had a conflict. BEAR: Timbers tickets! Our esteemed and retired professor of American Studies prefers sports to art. HOOKER: I'm not a rich man. I bought season tickets I can't afford. I like to use them. HEATHER: I may be doing the university again this summer. BEAR: Really? HEATHER: They said they wanted to bring me back. BEAR: That's great. HOOKER: The word is awesome, Bear. Have you done the show other places? HEATHER: Right now the show is my job. BEAR: I didn't know that. HEATHER: I've had very generous grant support. I've performed throughout the Northwest, at universities and colleges, performing arts centers, senior centers, labor picnics, union halls. I even pe...

 BEAR: I just finished an incredible book: the Age of American Unreason. HOOKER: By Susan Jacoby. I know it. It's a follow up to Hofstadter's Anti Intellectualism in American Life.  BEAR: She mentions this. HOOKER: The thing is, Bear, that it's always been the age of unreason here. Look at what Mencken was writing in the twenties. I recently came across a quotation that sounds like he's describing today. I bet I can find it. (He starts searching on his smart phone.) BEAR: Today people present "alternative science" as if it's a real thing. They believe Thomas Jefferson led prayer sessions. If you have an education, you're "elitist." People are proud of their ignorance! It's unreal. HOOKER: Here it is. (Reading) "On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. The Evening Sun, Baltimore (26 July 1920)," BEAR: I'm not s...

 BEAR: I visited my brother yesterday. HOOKER: He any better? BEAR: About the same. I always feel so guilty after seeing him. HOOKER: Why's that? BEAR: All he talks about is how boring it is there and what a relief from boredom it is to have me visit. He makes me feel like I should be visiting every day. The thing is, I can understand why he's bored. Activities amount to exercising, bingo, cards, and Bible study. He sometimes plays pinochle once a week. That's about it. HOOKER: Sounds boring to me, too. BEAR: Do you ever get bored? HOOKER: Rarely. You? BEAR: Sorry to say I do. Our Tuesday coffees often are the highlight of the week. The rest of the time, I'm climbing the walls. HOOKER: Now that surprises me. Doesn't your son live in Portland? BEAR:  He does. But I'm lucky if I hear from him once a month. HOOKER: Man, that's too bad. BEAR: I hear from my granddaughter more often, even when she's back east. HOOKER: I hear something like this and I don'...

Previous:  https://thoobasa.blogspot.com/2025/03/next-legacy-with-guest.html STEVE: Your suggestions really helped, and I'm so thankful. HOOKER: No trouble at all. BEAR: What did you end up doing? STEVE: Nothing's public yet, but I'm putting as much of his work as I can, including published work, onto a website I'll call "A Literary Archive." HOOKER: Excellent. STEVE: At another website I'm publishing something short every month. BEAR:'Something short? STEVE: Poems, short stories, journal things. BEAR: Sounds like you're going to be busy. STEVE: I found software that will do everything for me. I just have to input things in the order I want. HOOKER: I was going to suggest using software. STEVE: So Hooker, thank you, thank you, thank you. HOOKER: You're very welcome, welcome, welcome. (Pause.) STEVE: So how did you guys meet? HOOKER: Oh boy ... BEAR: We've been friends since grad school. HOOKER: Mid sixties at U of O in Eugene. Over half a c...

 BEAR: Did you see the guest editorial by Robert Charles in Sunday's paper? HOOKER: I don't read the paper any more. I don't watch television, and I don't listen to the radio. I don't do anything where there's a chance I will be exposed to news or images about the Golden Felon. BEAR: Well, listen to you. Does it work? HOOKER: No. What does Charles say? BEAR: He wants to expand physician-assisted suicide to include everyone.  HOOKER: Death with dignity for all! I like it. He give any details? BEAR: At age 80, whether sick or not, even if completely healthy, anyone is eligible to apply for death-with-dignity. HOOKER: That's too old. I'd do 70. Or make it part of retirement. BEAR: Are you serious? HOOKER: Of course I'm serious. We should have the right to manage our own deaths. BEAR:  God manages our death, Hooker. HOOKER: No, God manages man and gives him a mind capable of managing death for himself. BEAR: I guess we have to agree to disagree. HOOKER: ...

 BEAR: Did you watch the Blazers game last night? HOOKER: I don't follow the Blazers. BEAR: I thought you were a basketball fan. You used to be. HOOKER: I won't be an NBA fan again until they raise the basket. The game's turned into dunking and showing off. Today I follow women's basketball. It's still a team sport. BEAR: How about Caitlin Clark? HOOKER: She's spectacular.  BEAR: All those three pointers, some almost at half court. HOOKER: I'm talking about her passing. There are many good three point shooters but I've never seen anyone pass with her accuracy and consistency. She's the very definition of what a team sport looks like. BEAR: Granddaughter number two worships Clark. HOOKER: She plays? BEAR: First string on her high school team. I try not to miss a home game. HOOKER: I envy you. BEAR: Why don't you come to a game with me? HOOKER: I'd love to. BEAR: I think there are a couple games next week. I have to check my calendar. HOOKER: N...

 BEAR: When you lost Maggie, did you find yourself regretting that you hadn't told her certain things before she died? HOOKER: Oh yes. I think it's common. BEAR: After burying Liz, I couldn't remember the last time I'd told her I love her. I'm sure she knew I did but I was so upset about not telling her more often that my doctor treated me for depression. HOOKER: My dad was like that. He took me aside and told me not to make his mistake. So Maggie and I didn't have this problem, we told one another daily, often more than that. "Goodnight, I love you." I regreted something else. After retiring, she took up making jewelry. Good, I thought, she has a hobby to keep her busy. I didn't think much about it otherwise. BEAR: So what happened? HOOKER: I went through it after she died. Her jewelry was art! Moreover, she was selling it, she had business records. I should have paid more attention to all this when she was alive. BEAR: No marriage is perfect, is ...

 HOOKER: Bear, have you thought about what you're going to do when you decide you need help on a few things? BEAR: What I need help on right now is eating. I hate cooking. Meal delivery seems a little spendy. I eat a lot of meals you can microwave. Breakfast is best. Jimmy Dean sausage and gravy! It's really good. Or McDonald's drive through, Eggs and Sausage McMuffin. But by and large, my meals are not very healthy. Liz would be appalled. HOOKER: I have a plan for addressing this situation. BEAR: What's that? HOOKER: There must be fifty independent living retirement facilities in the Portland area. BEAR: My brother's in one. He's not terribly fond of living there. HOOKER: Hear me out. I toured one the other day and it ends up if you tour around noon, you get a free lunch. Here's the plan. We do coffee on Tuesdays, one week at your apartment, the next at mine. How about each Thursday we tour a living facility and get a free lunch? BEAR: A free lunch every we...

BEAR: You were watching a football game with the sound muted. Do you always do that? HOOKER: Pretty much so. Not just football, all sports. They all have hosts -- I won't call them sportscasters -- who endlessly talk and talk, even with the game going on, and almost never say anything interesting to anyone with half a brain.  Worse, sometimes the screen is split down the middle, one side with the game and the other side is an interview with the coach or a player, even as the game is going on! If that isn't disrespect for the game, I don't know what is. Red Barber and Vince Scully are rolling over in their graves. BEAR: My dad used to tell the story of how dramatic it was after the war when DiMaggio got a raise. One headline in very large letters read, DiMaggio gets 100 grand! HOOKER: My dad had a sports story, too. About Hurricane Hugh. BEAR: I need more. HOOKER: Hugh McElhenny. All American at the University of Washington, drafted by the 49ers. After his rookie season he w...

 (A song plays on Hooker's cell phone, by Ramblin Jack Elliott:) I went to the doctor / The doctor said, "Son, / you've got arthritis / and it ain't no fun." / And it's all kinds of trouble / gonna find you somehow. // Arthritis is a thing to miss / It will leave you walking / with a double twist. / And it's all kinds of trouble / gonna find you somehow. (The song ends.) HOOKER: He's talking about us, my friend.  BEAR: Not about me any more. I'm my old self after knee replacement surgery. You really should consider it. HOOKER: I know, I know. Maggie said the same thing. She was a great hiker and now she was on the trail again. BEAR: What are you afraid of? HOOKER: I'm not afraid of anything. I just don't like the idea of being turned into a bionic man. Doctors keep making us live longer, by the time we die we won't have any natural parts left. BEAR: You exaggerate. HOOKER: I hope so. The thing is, Bear, the health industry is extending ...

 BEAR:  Maggie donated her body to science, didn't she? HOOKER: Right. And I plan to do the same. You have a problem with that? BEAR: No, no. If you were being cremated, I have a horror story for you. Might affect where you wanted your ashes scattered. HOOKER: What's the story? BEAR: This happened to a friend of my son. When his mom died, they scattered her ashes in her favorite fishing hole down on the Applegate. Ten years later his sister died in a car crash, and she wanted her ashes spread with her mom. So he drives to the Applegate to do that and the fishing hole is gone. They built a dam!  My son says his friend rented a boat and tried to figure out where the fishing hole might be but finally gave up and just scattered the ashes in the new lake. HOOKER: Ouch. BEAR: Moral: spread your ashes someplace that is going to be around for a while. Or get buried in a cemetery. You can't get more permanent than that. HOOKER: Which is your choice, I presume. BEAR: Of course. Rig...

 HOOKER: I really spaced out this morning. Sitting on the couch for over an hour, the dog asleep on my lap, cool jazz playing on the Echo, my thoughts all over the place. BEAR:' Thinking about Maggie? HOOKER: Not so much. This wasn't about grieving her loss. I'm not sure what it was. An escape from boredom maybe. BEAR: I have yet to find an escape from boredom. Our Tuesday ritual, of course. An occasional visit from granddaughter number one. An even more occasional phone call from my son. A home basketball game to watch granddaughter number two. Otherwise I'm climbing the walls. HOOKER: What 's your mind doing then? (Bear laughs.) BEAR: I think your mind is more active than mine. I don't remember thinking about anything. So what were you thinking about? HOOKER: Mostly about my past and about bad moments when I screwed up something. BEAR: I don't remember too much of that. HOOKER: Well, I hardly felt like sharing it at the time.  BEAR: Give me an example. HOO...

 BEAR: Looking back at the time right after Liz died, I don't know how I navigated all the legal things I had to do. HOOKER: I hear you. BEAR: And it's the worse possible time to have to make decisions on legal matters. Fortunately my son stepped up to the plate and really helped me. I try to remember that whenever I'm throwing mental daggers at him for seldom calling me. You didn't have kids to help, how did you do it? HOOKER: Our financial profiles have always been pretty simple. No wall street or investment brokers or real estate for us. We're certainly not your typical capitalist. BEAR: I always thought of you as a socialist. In the closet maybe. HOOKER: Not a socialist. Not a member of any political group. I call myself a Transcendentalist. How many of those have you met? BEAR: Hooker, you definitely are one of a kind. HOOKER: Back to post mortem legal hoops. There's a lot of that that could be done before anyone dies. And get rid of redundancies. How many ...

HOOKER: How long did it take you to get over losing Liz? BEAR: I'm not over it yet. I'll never be over it. What I'm over is thinking about it. Instead I think about how lucky I was to spend so many years with such a remarkable woman. HOOKER: I can't wait to get thete. BEAR: How long has it been? Six months? HOOKER: Eight. It does get easier with time, but time really drags. BEAR: Have you noticed that you experience the passage of time differently in old age? Time drags in the short run but sprints in the long run. HOOKER: I have noticed. There's probably a name for it. BEAR: I predict in a few months you won't be thinking about Maggie every day. HOOKER: I don't want to stop thinking about her. I want to stop thinking I can't go on without her. BEAR: It will happen. Just hang in. HOOKER: Hangin in like Gunga Din. BEAR: You say that a lot. Is. Is it original with you? HOOKER:'Are you serious? You don't recognize it? BEAR: Fraid not. HOOKER:  The k...

 BEAR: Do you miss performing? HOOKER: Of course. But with these hands, I couldn't play if I wanted do. BEAR: Arthritis? HOOKER::I don't know what else to call it. BEAR: What does the doctor call it? HOOKER: I haven't been to a doctor. It doen't hurt that much. BEAR: All the same-- HOOKER: Bear, I've reached the age when the doctor is no longer my ally. Our goals conflict. He wants to keep me alive. I want to die of natural causes, sooner rather than later. BEAR: That almost sounds suicidal. HOOKER: Bullshit it does! BEAR: Sorry. Didn't mean to piss you off. HOOKER: I'm sick and tired of being called morbid or suicidal just because I want to manage my own death. I've had a spectacular life! But it's over. No family left, no kids.  BEAR: What about me? HOOKER: You're my longest friend, but you're not my responsibility.  BEAR: I'm saying I'll miss you. HOOKER: And I'll miss you if you go first. But this doesn't change the bigger...

 HOOKER: I wrote my obituary over the weekend. BEAR: My God! HOOKER: There's nothing wrong with me. I was watching a discussion on TV and a shrink recommended it as a valuable exercise for anyone. Boy was he right. BEAR: Tell me more. HOOKER: Writing your obit is more or less telling your own life story, and my memory brought up experiences I hadn't thought about in years. Decades. I ended up with far too many pages to publish as an obituary but more importantly with insights I never had before. BEAR: Can you share them? HOOKER: How unfocused and lost I was until the Army changed me. But not in the way the commercials suggest. I was the front desk clerk to a small company of Russian linguists. BEAR: You speak Russian? HOOKER: No. The job didn't require it. But I had a Top Secret Codeword security clearance because I typed reports sent to the Pentagon.  BEAR: This was after your undergraduate degree?  HOOKER: I dropped out in the middle of my sophomore year. I had no idea ...

 HOOKER: I tried to catch you before you left. No coffee today. I'm going to the hospital. BEAR: When? What happened? HOOKER: The shuttle is on its way. The doctor saw something he didn't like on an xray. More tests, maybe even exploratory surgery. BEAR: Sounds serious. HOOKER: Can't argue with that. I'm going to wait outside. BEAR: Should I come with you? HOOKER: No, no. When I know somethjng, I'll give you a call. BEAR: I'll pray for you. HOOKER: Hell of a way to start the day. (He exits, followed by Bear.) (End)

 (Bear and granddaughter Heather. The phone rings.) BEAR: Hello....This is he....Yes....My God!...I will, yes....Thanks for telling me. ( He hangs up.) Hooker didn't make it. THE END