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Arthritis blues & the Farewell Wake

 (A song plays on Hooker's cell phone, by Ramblin Jack Elliott:)

I went to the doctor / The doctor said, "Son, / you've got arthritis / and it ain't no fun." / And it's all kinds of trouble / gonna find you somehow. // Arthritis is a thing to miss / It will leave you walking / with a double twist. / And it's all kinds of trouble / gonna find you somehow. (The song ends.)

HOOKER: He's talking about us, my friend. 

BEAR: Not about me any more. I'm my old self after knee replacement surgery. You really should consider it.

HOOKER: I know, I know. Maggie said the same thing. She was a great hiker and now she was on the trail again.

BEAR: What are you afraid of?

HOOKER: I'm not afraid of anything. I just don't like the idea of being turned into a bionic man. Doctors keep making us live longer, by the time we die we won't have any natural parts left.

BEAR: You exaggerate.

HOOKER: I hope so. The thing is, Bear, the health industry is extending life but ignoring anything that would help us die with dignity.

BEAR: You know how I feel about that.

HOOKER: (Ignoring him) I was browsing podcasts recently and stumbled across The Farewell Wake. It's the perfect model of how a dignified death could go. When you, and nobody else, decide it's your time to go, you host a party with your family and friends, a wake where you say goodbye. You're both the host and honored guest at your own wake. It's brilliant! When it's over, you go off, alone or not, your decision, and use the death pill the government issued to you. The Farewell Wake.

BEAR: Thank God something like that could never happen.

HOOKER: Sadly, I have to agree with you there.

(Pause.)

BEAR: We belong in the Guinness Book of Records.

HOOKER: Why's that?

BEAR: For having such a long friendship despite disagreeing on more things than we agree on.

HOOKER: What did Charlie's son say? Music is more important than politics.

BEAR: If you put us in a novel, nobody would believe it.

HOOKER: That's their problem. Humans are infiniely surprising and contradictory. As soon as you make a generality about them, someone pops up to prove you wrong. We remain a profound mystery.

BEAR: No comment.

(Pause.)

HOOKER: (Singing) "And it's all kinds of trouble / gonna find you somehow."

(End)



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