Skip to main content

Regrets after losing a spouse

 BEAR: When you lost Maggie, did you find yourself regretting that you hadn't told her certain things before she died?

HOOKER: Oh yes. I think it's common.

BEAR: After burying Liz, I couldn't remember the last time I'd told her I love her. I'm sure she knew I did but I was so upset about not telling her more often that my doctor treated me for depression.

HOOKER: My dad was like that. He took me aside and told me not to make his mistake. So Maggie and I didn't have this problem, we told one another daily, often more than that. "Goodnight, I love you." I regreted something else. After retiring, she took up making jewelry. Good, I thought, she has a hobby to keep her busy. I didn't think much about it otherwise.

BEAR: So what happened?

HOOKER: I went through it after she died. Her jewelry was art! Moreover, she was selling it, she had business records. I should have paid more attention to all this when she was alive.

BEAR: No marriage is perfect, is it?

HOOKER: No marriage is perfect. No relationship is perfect. No individual is perfect. 

BEAR: All we can do is the best we can.

HOOKER: Unless you're a follower of the Golden Felon.

BEAR: Who are driven by bad ideas.

HOOKER: Not by ideas, Bear, by ideology. An idea is something you have. An ideology is something that has you.

(End)



Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boredom in old age

 BEAR: I visited my brother yesterday. HOOKER: He any better? BEAR: About the same. I always feel so guilty after seeing him. HOOKER: Why's that? BEAR: All he talks about is how boring it is there and what a relief from boredom it is to have me visit. He makes me feel like I should be visiting every day. The thing is, I can understand why he's bored. Activities amount to exercising, bingo, cards, and Bible study. He sometimes plays pinochle once a week. That's about it. HOOKER: Sounds boring to me, too. BEAR: Do you ever get bored? HOOKER: Rarely. You? BEAR: Sorry to say I do. Our Tuesday coffees often are the highlight of the week. The rest of the time, I'm climbing the walls. HOOKER: Now that surprises me. Doesn't your son live in Portland? BEAR:  He does. But I'm lucky if I hear from him once a month. HOOKER: Man, that's too bad. BEAR: I hear from my granddaughter more often, even when she's back east. HOOKER: I hear something like this and I don'...
Post a Comment
Read more

A message from Woody Guthrie (with guest)

 BEAR: This is my granddaughter, Heather. HOOKER: Nice to meet you. HEATHER: I've heard so much about you. HOOKER:You didn't have to tell me that. HEATHER: All good! BEAR: She performed her Woody Guthrie show at the universitry last night. You missed one hell of a performance.  HOOKER: I had a conflict. BEAR: Timbers tickets! Our esteemed and retired professor of American Studies prefers sports to art. HOOKER: I'm not a rich man. I bought season tickets I can't afford. I like to use them. HEATHER: I may be doing the university again this summer. BEAR: Really? HEATHER: They said they wanted to bring me back. BEAR: That's great. HOOKER: The word is awesome, Bear. Have you done the show other places? HEATHER: Right now the show is my job. BEAR: I didn't know that. HEATHER: I've had very generous grant support. I've performed throughout the Northwest, at universities and colleges, performing arts centers, senior centers, labor picnics, union halls. I even pe...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Dumbing Down of America

 BEAR: I just finished an incredible book: the Age of American Unreason. HOOKER: By Susan Jacoby. I know it. It's a follow up to Hofstadter's Anti Intellectualism in American Life.  BEAR: She mentions this. HOOKER: The thing is, Bear, that it's always been the age of unreason here. Look at what Mencken was writing in the twenties. I recently came across a quotation that sounds like he's describing today. I bet I can find it. (He starts searching on his smart phone.) BEAR: Today people present "alternative science" as if it's a real thing. They believe Thomas Jefferson led prayer sessions. If you have an education, you're "elitist." People are proud of their ignorance! It's unreal. HOOKER: Here it is. (Reading) "On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. The Evening Sun, Baltimore (26 July 1920)," BEAR: I'm not s...
Post a Comment
Read more